We had a conversation last night. It started with a long, confused discussion about the activists dillemma of information versus action. Somebody brought up the topic of beleif. Some people want, simply, to allign their beleifs with their actions. I contested this. So, of course we all effaced the right and wrong binary order again for a little while. But I guess even if you do not say right and you do not say wrong, another value of good like community or something and another value for bad like neoliberalism or something will probably replace it. We have not talked about that stuff since last night but I feel like the conversation is still definately going on in our heads, little outside of time even.
Time is really weird here. Theres a lot of futurism, and the dreaming there implied, and a equal lot of history, with its grey, alliterated insensitivities. That couple confligrates more weirdly with my unrelenting sense of the rigid contemporariness that comes from this personal experience that I am having as a de facto imperialist on a strange continent, constantly reflexive; expounding and devouring ideas and representations of this relationship as it manifests in different configurations. On top of this time confusion, I only speak spanish in the present tense.
Today the global studies academics from North American held a poorly translated lecture (in English) about how we must go farther than the Twentieth century revolutionaries and erase any preference about trying to contain capital, and how we must must seek only to obliterate, replace and erase it. This is an ahistorical idea. That is not something that specifically makes me intellectually or practically uncomfortable, however, it hits me in a way that is more magic and confusion than precisely literal.
Everything that I am familiar with, in so many ways, even emotionally, is deeply enmeshed in imperialism and the neoliberal capitalist system. And im trying to replace it. I have no idea of how to visualize this in a literal way. That dreaming that I talked about a minute ago, even though it is certainly not literal either, might be a start for me. Except that even dreaming up an answer seems difficult right now, as I realize both the absurdity of the tableau of power in the word and that currently in global politics you may say so many different things so many different ways. This is politics unhinged from history and time.
When i was a democrat i never had to deal with this shit.